缪斯2

波士顿的一名儿科医生. 佩里·克拉斯，五届O级.亨利奖得主, is a prolific author of fiction 和 non-fiction, which includes two collections of essays about medicine, A Not Entirely Benign Procedure: Four Years as a Medical Student 和 Baby Doctor: A Pediatrician’s 教育. 她还担任国家扫盲项目Reach Out 和 Read的医疗主任.

Dr.克拉斯会见了 治愈的缪斯 after reading from her recent collection of award-winning stories, 爱情与现代医学. 她作为伊丽莎白·布莱克威尔·戴的受邀主讲人访问了北州, 这是一年一度的庆祝活动，纪念1849年北州大学第一位获得完全认可的女性医学博士毕业.

EDS. 你对医学课程中越来越强调文学和叙事有什么看法?

KLASS I applaud it; it gives students official permission to use the other sides of their brains. Knowing how to listen 和 how to assess what you are hearing 和 seeing is an essential skill for a physician; such knowing is also of great value to a writer. I see the arts 和 humanities as a refreshing influence in the curriculum; students are so drenched in science that they may lose the art of reflection. For me, writing has always helped nurture 和 sustain that art.

EDS. Did you keep a journal during your medical school years?

KLASS Oh yes, through all my training too; I have what I call ‘boxes of misery’ stored somewhere at home. 我在ICM中看到，一个人可以把病人记录作为一种简单的智力练习, or one could become quite skilled at it, 能看到他/她自己进入一个人的生活的混乱，并创造一个有组织和有序的反应，这将有利于病人. 我还告诉学生们，写作可以是对他们在教育期间遭受的一些暴行的最好报复.

EDS. How do you find the time to maintain a practice, a family, 和 still write?

KLASS 我一直同意威廉·卡洛斯·威廉姆斯(William Carlos Williams)的观点，他坚持认为医学实践和写作艺术之间没有真正的竞争. He found that one nourished the other, 和 I do too. People are starved for plot; in a doctor’s office, plot just keeps spilling in 和 spilling out. HMOs mean a story comes to us in pieces over time, 但即使是这些生活的小片段也很有趣，让我在当天晚些时候思考我所目睹的这件事背后的整个故事.

EDS. Do you show the stories to your patients?

KLASS I try very hard not to use my patients in a particular story; I change everything in order to hide the facts of a case. If, 然而, some aspect of a story seems identifiable or connected to a patient, 我总是会请病人或家属阅读我的故事，并允许我发表.

EDS. How has writing contributed to your medical career?

KLASS Everybody in this job has to learn empathy 和 projection; writing has helped me by allowing me to imagine myself inside other people’s stories. 作为一名写故事的医生，我学到了一些关于生活的经验. 例如, 在医学院，没人跟我们说喜欢病人或不喜欢病人, 当你发现你治疗的人会让你生气时，你会感到很惊讶. 创造一个这样的角色，然后创造一个结局，可以让我有不同的想法或感觉更好.

EDS. How do your colleagues react to your success as a writer?

KLASS 我认为大部分都是积极的. 我被认为是一个真正喜欢我们的职业和医学界的人.

EDS. 谁在文学上影响了你?

KLASS 我很守旧:我喜欢19世纪的小说，艾略特一直是我的最爱， 米德尔马契 the book I can reread forever; I love Dickens 和 Shirley Jackson, Dorothy Parker, Jill McCorkle. The more I read, the more I want to write. 作为一个母亲, 我也发现自己想写孩子们想读的故事. Everything feeds the creative impulse.

EDS. 你的故事常常很好地说明了身为父母的医生在告诉病人坏消息时所面临的矛盾.

KLASS 儿科医生尤其是, 我认为, 当一个年轻的病人出现灾难性的疾病时，采取一种复杂的否认方式. “如果我治疗这个病人，我将确保我自己的孩子永远不会遭受这样的恐怖.’ We make deals in our minds with the Lord, with fate, with ourselves. 我认为 I do that in my writing as well; if I can write about it, I can prevent it. 愚蠢但却是真实的.

EDS. 今天邀请你们是为了庆祝女性在医学界的存在. Your stories, too, celebrate women; any thoughts you’d like to share about being a woman physician?

KLASS 就像我今天告诉学生的那样, I am really no pioneer; I so admire Elizabeth Blackwell 和 Sarah Loguen Fraser, 女性不得不独自面对同事的敌意和残酷. 我很感激他们, 我希望其他人现在看到，从事这一职业的女性做出了巨大的贡献. 根据我自己的经验, 我不得不说，我在医学院的男同事和教授都很欢迎和支持我. I try to be that for all the students I meet now as well. 是的，在我的小说中，你会发现大多数女性角色都是互相支持的. This too comes from my experience; women are strong, capable, funny, smart. 这里的一些女医学生告诉我，有时回家参加朋友的婚礼是多么困难，她们的生活似乎已经开始了，而那些医学院的学生只能看到未来的几年. 队列效应. I tell them to relax; everything comes in its own time.

耳朵上方有凹陷和肿块
tell narratives I never would have known
before relentless loss of all my hair

turned the truth about my scalp so baldly clear-
我一生的故事已刻骨铭心.
我耳朵上方的凸起和凹陷

找出激情所在:这里.
Like tenacity 和 hope, it’s in a zone
在脱发之前看不见.

writ large the heady script of character.
Depression, fancy, awkwardness intone
a complexity that’s bunched above my ear

供大家阅读.  你温柔的手指，亲爱的，
解释我的愿望，只解释我的愿望.
My scalp is blessed to have no trace of hair.

And I am blessed to know how much you care
unsettling perhaps, for you are young
和 concavities 和 bumps above the ear
are lost in transient waves of lustrous hair.

            我早上4点起床.m.  For a few seconds I am only aware of the heat, of sweating, too hot.  这就是我醒来的原因.  Throw off the extra blanket, turn 和 settle like a dog circling.  找到合适的形状，把自己折叠起来，穿过那扇门回到平静.  没有合适的.  这边，那边.  There is still the tension in my bones of unspoken sorrow, of unshared grief.  我休息一两个小时.  这边，那边.  As I wrestle in the dark in my bedclothes, the day dawns upon me.  一天过去了.  未来的一天.  无休止的斗争的日子.  回忆悄悄来到，在我的窗前嚎叫，使我的心孤独地狂跳.  Along in the dark, regret baying at my window.
            在我看来，行医、诊断和治疗疾病是一种双重考验.  以历史为例, 检查病人, 了解你的身体结构, 缓慢进展等于肿瘤, 急性发作等于中风, relapsing remitting equals inflammatory/autoimmune.  Fill out the requisition, shake the patient’s h和.  接电话.  夫人. 史密斯，你的核磁共振检查正常.  “No, I’m no sure why you are having numbness but it can’t be serious.”  问题 hang in the space between you.  Fill it with empty assurances, bridge the gap between you with platitudes.  The struggle to find, to touch to grasp the cause of imperfection.  先命名，再修复.  This our goal 和 yet it is so often out of reach.  要知道的太多了.  有很多事要做.  Listen , think, look,, read, review, think again.  搜索，谈论，好奇，担心.  有很多事要做 和 still the patient is sick.
             I live beside this life of work, study, thinking 和 analysis.  I live in another room where the sounds of my work ring clear 和 cold, where I can hear them but not touch them.  The voices in the next room march interminably on.  我听着悲伤的诉说，背疼，呼吸困难，麻痹，心悸.  I listen to the sorrow spoken 和 the unsatisfactory answers.  As I sit alone in the next room, my heart aches.  我的心因为隔壁房间里那两个人之间的孤独而疼痛.
            The physician removes herself, keeps a cool professional distance.  隔壁房间里的女人把自己裹在那个痛苦的瘸腿病人身上, 触摸他, 拥有他, 遭受.  The doctor knows the condition is terminal, knows the only course of action.  The woman looks deep in to the patient’s eyes to ask forgiveness, 原谅, 给予，给予，原谅.  The doctor states the prognosis, offers alternatives, advises.  The woman prays, “Dear God, take him, hold him, comfort him.  让他看到天堂.  Touch 和 heal him, touch 和 heal him.  让他活下去.”  The doctor says, there is little hope for recovery.  The woman falls on her knees 和 weeps.
            天终于变灰了.  静悄悄的雪正在飘落.  I throw back my blankets, they sleepier than I.  孩子们还在睡觉, just murmuring their last minute dreams before the day bursts upon them.  I struggle to shower, looking forward to caress of it.  片刻的温暖.  Then all too soon the counterfeit day begins.  The children hurried to the bus, the doctor dressed, the march begun.  The doctor dressed in white 和 full of authority.  The woman in the next room, alone 和 listening.